Monthly Archives: August 2009

Cruel Winds Of Fate Earn Shawnee Man Speeding Ticket

We all hate texting, right? We hate that it’s become such a key part of our communication. We hate that our slide-out QWERTY keyboards make us look like giddy 14-year-old girls. We especially hate, though, when people text while driving. … Continue reading

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Filed under Crime, Technology

The Tragedy Of Lisa Cordes, In Which The Local Shakespeare Festival Is Torn Asunder By Much Drama And Calamity

Dramatis Personae: Lisa Cordes, local Shakespeare leader and newly shunned civic presence Steve Chick, festival board president and fiscal tyrant of great renown Marilyn Strauss, festival founder and unwitting reporting source Sidonie Garrett, artistic director and unwilling third party Cominius … Continue reading

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Filed under Entertainment, Local Business, The Arts

Olathe Woman Trumps Health Care Opponents With Wild Misreading Of Bible

You know who hated Obamacare? Jesus. No, it’s true! The lackluster carpenter and sometime savior — curiously, also one of history’s most prominent liberals — was a committed opponent of the Big Government solution. Don’t believe us? Just ask Mary … Continue reading

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Filed under Media, Politics, Religion

In fair Kansas City, where we lay our scene!

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Filed under Crime

Dr. Whitlock Uses Mopey Athlete’s Downfall To Call For Draft Reinstatement

Hey, who is that over there behind the sports desk? You know, that guy behind the plant discussing his posterior preferences? Is it Dr. Phil? Close! It’s Dr. Jason Whitlock, newly minted therapist and former sports columnist for the Star. … Continue reading

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Filed under Jason Whitlock, Media, Sports

Mark and Gloria Buy Themselves A Whole New Woooorld…

Professional litigant and occasional mayor Mark Funkhouser has finished remodeling his office — you may recall it was damaged by the trodding of bare feet rain — and the cost is… well, it’s a lot. Now, the 70 large figure … Continue reading

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Filed under City Government, Economics, Funkhouser

Kennedy’s Passing Greeted With Typical Reverence In Star Comments Section

The passing of the youngest Kennedy brother has certainly attracted the attention of the media, but what about the real source of the vox populi? We refer of course to the Star‘s comments section, always the reliable source of reason, … Continue reading

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Filed under Media

Royals Fans Celebrate Greinke Achievement With Stuttering, Faux-Cyrillic Signage

Man, we hope these folks kept the reciept from the Novelty Letter Shoppe…someone sold them some bum “K” panels.

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Filed under Royals, Sports

Prolix Star Columnist Finally Goes One Wistful Analogy Too Far

We’ve long been known as mockers of C.W. Guswelle, the Star‘s old-man-in-chief and purple prose aficionado. Of course, we mostly go after him for his long disquisitions on which animals may or may not populate his backyard, but whatever. It … Continue reading

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Filed under Media, Politics

Area Nerds Flock To KCK For T-Bones Game, Chance To Encounter Females

Minor league franchises, always looking for ways to spice up the baseball experience, recently hosted a Star Wars Night out at Community America Ballpark. What a great idea — let’s merge the worlds of independent baseball and online gaming enthusiasts! … Continue reading

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Filed under Sports, The Arts