A rather odd “in memoriam” article from the Star‘s “Dollars & Sense” blog: in a piece describing the demise of John Joseph Houghtaling, inventor of the Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed, Kansas City native (and character in a Kurt Vonnegut novel), the reporter takes advantage of the, uh, somber occasion to try a rare bit of obituary humor. Among the zingers:
His quarters finally ran out.
Hey, you, in Room 12B! Put down the remote control. Unplug the ice machine. A moment of silence, please.
John Joseph Houghtaling, 92, has gone to the great Holiday Inn in the sky.
He was responsible for more good vibrations than Brian Wilson.
[O]n the Richter Scale of roadside motels, he was a perfect 10.
Hey-yo! Now, we’re the first ones to admit we enjoy good (i.e. “bad”) puns and wordplay, but…man. One can only imagine what the funeral services will be like.
Priest: “Now I lay me down to sleep…on a vibrating bed for quarter. Cheap!”