Legions Of KC Jackasses Shed Striped Shirts From Express As P&L Rooftop Pool Opens

apictureofacertainwonderfullytitledbookOh, my. Didn’t think the crowd at the Kansas City Power & Light District could get any more chock full o’ herpes sultry? Well, the overlords of that ostentatiously amoral locale are about to take it up a notch: opening this weekend, the official Power & Light rooftop pool! It’s genius! Now your tribal band tattoos can be gleefully unencumbered by your Affliction shirts! Step right up, ladies — provided you’re a fan of guys who shop exclusively at GNC, that is.

The name of this hip new aquaspot is no doubt something delightfully clev — wait, what? “The Jones”? Seriously? Is that supposed to refer to an urge? Or more of a “keepin’ up with” sense of the term, perhaps?

The people behind the Kansas City Power & Light District hope The Jones, modeled after chic cabana clubs in bigger cities, will heat up downtown business even more.

Crews were busy Thursday putting finishing touches on the rooftop pool and lounge to prepare for the sold-out opening on Saturday night.

A sold-out opening night, eh? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the number of people we’d like to meet at that event would be… zero. However! Don’t let our misanthropy stop you. Do you enjoy gazing upon guys and girls who are all generically attractive in a kindasorta really boring kind of way? Want to overhear interesting conversation about the latest episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 with people who’ve likely never heard of Tehran? Step right up, Kansas City! “The Jones” awaits!


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