Looking for something to class up your humdrum living room? Look no further than this priceless offering on Craigslist. I mean, what projects gravitas more than a ridiculously cartoonish tiger rug? But wait! Don’t be confused: the seller of this item has to make sure you know this is not the genuine article:
This is a large FAKE plush tiger rug. Its a good size, maybe 3 by 4 feet. Machine Washable.
Ah, okay. It’s FAKE. Hey, and machine washable! And just five dollars?!? Jump on it, people — provided you’re okay with that face haunting your dreams for the rest of time.