What, ho! A new hockey team in Independence? Sure, we’ve known this time was coming, but it sure is more exciting on the day a mascot and logo are announced! So the suspense is over, and with what are we left? A name that captures the very spirit of Methdependence, perhaps? Something that conjures the pioneer spirit of that most storied of KC suburbs? Nah. They went with the “Missouri Mavericks.” Er… awesome. But rest easy: in case you don’t get it, team officials are here to, um, define it for you?
“A maverick is someone who does it his way. He’s independent,” said Brad Lund, team president. “We’re in Independence.”
Ah, I see. So we take the name of the municipality, break it down to its roots, and form the name from that? I suppose if the team were in Gladstone, then, it’d be the “Happy Rocks”? Also, we’d like to kindly point out to Mr. Lund that he’s actually using the secondary definition of “maverick.” The primary definition is as follows:
1: an unbranded range animal ; especially : a motherless calf
Oh, dear. A motherless calf? Unintentional metaphors are covering this team before it even takes the ice. Good thing another team rep is here to reassure you of this mascot’s… joie de vivre?
“It’s an intense horse,” said Patrick Armstrong, a team spokesman. “A motivated horse.”
Got that? The incongruity of a horse on skates now connotes motivation. By the way, a hat tip to our pal Charles Gooch over at Ink, who creates ten alternate names for the team, including “Independence Latter Day Skates.” Simply outstanding — but not nearly as “motivated,” we suppose.