Mike Hendricks Dabbles In Recession Porn

acertaintvshowthatshouldhavedisgustedusallIt’s become fashionable of late to take a gawking, schadenfreude-y look at those former titans of high finance and real estate whose falls have been commensurate with the collapse of that whole “global economy.” The journalistic spectacle, though, has largely confined itself to the pages of Vanity Fair and New York, and has not migrated to our more humble Midwestern venues — where we don’t take such a gleefully misanthropic view of things. Besides, we don’t have the kind of real estate here that would provide such fodder — or do we? Sigh. Yes, if one heads southeast to the Lake of pollution the Ozarks, where Star aw-shucks columnist Mike Hendricks recently found some luxury fire sales. Cue the late-90s attitudes:

The walls on all four levels are stuffed full of wires to power the 138 speakers and 10 flat-panel TVs, all of which can be controlled from a central electronics closet hidden in the 4½ car garage, where there is, of course, a hookup for yet another big screen.

I guess just in case you want to watch the game while polishing the Lamborghini. Or so you can stay tuned in to what’s going on in the rest of the house via the security system, wired with six movable cameras.

Six is also how many bedrooms there are — three with private decks. Then there are the two full and two half indoor kitchens. Another is on the patio, just beyond the kidney-shaped pool, hot tub, telescoping fountain and gas fire pit.

Is it just us, or does taking such a voyeuristic view of a casa de broken dreams seem just a little nauseating? This is the kind of language one found in the breathlessly enthusiastic investment years of the early aughts, and now it has been spun around — with no small amount of self-righteous satisfaction — to mock the people who would dare pursue what we aspired to reach. These Brobdingnagian homes may represent the apex of a decade marked by financial overreach, but why must we all now revel in the collapse of these Osage Rockefellers? How quickly we forget that each of us would have gladly taken this home if given the means.

Excelsior, Hendricks. Excelsior.

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1 Comment

Filed under Economics, Media, Real Estate

One response to “Mike Hendricks Dabbles In Recession Porn

  1. Randy

    Was this story published somewhere else?

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