Star‘s Mom2Mom Blog Finally Bottoms Out In Online Cesspool Of Alcoholism, Boredom, Emoticons

secretaryofstateenjoyingalibationBack in our State of the Line days, we used to spend a fair amount of time examining the cultural tour de force that is the Star‘s Mom2Mom blog, ostensibly an e-resource for area mothers where they can discuss motherhood, parenting, layabout husbands, etc. Of course, it may not shock you to learn that the most frequent topics of discussion are things like soap operas and celebrity gossip. Sigh — fulfillment of stereotypes is so dull. Luckily, Mom2Mom user “dollarfifty” decided to lighten things up last Saturday by dropping the magic words: jello shots. Specifically, she asked if talking about jello shots would “liven up this site????” (Interrogative emphasis, mercifully, is hers.) The post V2’d in the Mom2Mom world, and now there are a remarkable 104 responses to it. Alas, all the responses reveal is the sad, lonesome, booze-ridden state of Kansas City mothers. Peruse the delightful thoughts shared by local madres after the jump.

First it’s worth noting a token “boring” topic proffered by the aforementioned dollarfifty: I didn’t wash my DH’s coverall for work and now he has to walk halfway thru the plant to get a clean pair for tonight. Hey, who hasn’t been there? Am I right?!? Uh… moms?

Some choice responses from the mother community, with all user names sic:

Jello shots?!?! Shwing!!! — blwaffle

My idea of fun is doing all of thise with some wine coolers. — stingyhag

ever tried Sparks? I might be up all night cuz I am on my third… alchohol and energy all in one– hankyspanky mom

Hey, I have done alot of productive cleaning with the help of “spirits”.

I think that is why my house looks nice for a change. Unemployed+cocktail=clean house. — blwaffle

OHHHHH,,,,,HO means hard ons!!!!!!!!!!! :oops:dollarfifty

Come on over to my house. I put the two babies to bed, but one is throwing a bit of a fit still. She’ll pass out soon. Oldest dd and her boyfriend are downstairs watching a movie. All of this makes my house much quieter than normal. I’m about to grab a rag (and another winecooler) and start cleaning, not that I will get far, lol. — stingyhag

And I just fixed myself a 7 and 7. — Bug’smom

I NEED pie AND jello shots STAT. — Sugar and Spice Co.

Ok….Alchohol abuse…just spit up part of my drink.. — blwaffle

NOW I am stuck trying to figure out, just how does one get happy (PIE & JELLO SHOTS!?!) — Sugar and Spice Co.

Hmm. The best part, of course, is that the posts start to become even more delightful as the mothers in question keep refilling their glasses. Thus, by the time we hit page 7 of the conversation, we encounter long screeds against husbands, plaintive lamentations about the travails of single motherhood, and lovely comments like this one from “blwaffle”:

I am 3/4 crocked, lol. I have a 50 year old piece of pooh whatever you call it that was rigged from day one occupied by 3 and critters.

Indeed.

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