Sigh. What is this city coming to? It’s almost like you can’t even get some sweet back alley lovin’ from a stranger anymore — at least not without being robbed at gunpoint and blacking out in a most pride-killing position. According to court records released today, men take their lives and their futures in their hands when they try to sidestep the whole courtship process of romance.
The women had plotted to distract the victims with the sexual activity while two male accomplices sneaked up and robbed the victims at gunpoint, police said.
The plot unraveled when the accomplices shot the victims before asking for money or valuables. The women and accomplices fled, three in a Ford Taurus and one on foot…
Police found a 34-year-old victim with wounds to his arm and leg and a 31-year-old victim on the ground with his pants around his knees. He was unconscious and suffered wounds to his legs.
Man. Bad night. The lesson, as always: if you think a random passerby whispering sweet nothings and filling your ears with visions of forbidden carnal knowledge is totally innocent, then you’re probably an idiot. And you’re likely to end up passed out in a Westport alley — usually the home of strolling hipsters too cool to take the sidewalks, lest their faux-vintage Replacements shirt be damaged — finding damage to both pride and wallet.