Defiant Paramilitary Nerds Roaming Overland Park

ohmanthatisonealmosttoughguyPaintball — for so long the province of armchair soldiers able to delude themselves into thinking an hour among inflatable objects qualifies them for Navy SEAL status — turns out to be more dangerous than you think. When these would-be Eisenhowers take a break from reading Soldier of Fortune and watching the History Channel, it would appear that they turn their weapons of geekery on innocent passersby. A man driving in Johnson County found out the hard way:

Overland Park, Kan., police are investigating after a paintball was fired at a driver near 132nd Street and Antioch Road last week.

Police said the attack happened at about 9 p.m. The driver was hit in the nose after the yellow paintball traveled through the man’s open passenger-side window and exploded in his face.

The man was able to stop his car before crashing. Police said the man’s nose was almost broken. He was treated at a hospital.

What the hell, losers? Can’t you please confine your military-simulacrum activities to the suburban fun centers where they belong? You don’t see any Jackson Countians letting their bowling balls loose on the streets of Methdependence, do you? Turning your pseudo-weapons loose on innocent people doesn’t make you any tougher in your World of Warcraft chat rooms.

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