Mom2Mom Examines Deep Theological Questions Through Obvious Framework Of Adult Magazines

mom2momsdeepestquestionsansweredIs there a higher power? Do humans have a larger spiritual quest on this spinning rock of ours? What lies beyond the edges of our beloved Milky Way? Tough questions all, and probably ones best left to the divinity students over at Mom2Mom, the Star‘s reliably dull and relentlessly comical motherhood blog. The current favorite topic? Theology, and how the tenets of Christianity may or may not be reflected in Heidi Montag’s decision to pose in America’s classic chronicler of female bodies and stereo equipment. And as usual, the conversation is rife with wincingly terrible prose. Take it away, “parkvillemommy”:

My favorite part is where she says that God created her body. Yes, well, the plastic surgeon provided a little help, too.

Hey-o! Watch your backs, Borscht Belt comedians! Luckily, “Neba” is here to steer the conversation back toward the biq questions:

To many, it doesn’t seem like a very “Christian thing to do” (including me), but if she says she is a Christian then I guess she is.

Wait, so… even though A contradicts B, A is still okay because… why, exactly?

Our old pal “cnnplus5” is here to offer a verifiably ironclad pronouncement on what you may believe about a certain centuries-old storybook:

not even gonna go there ladies except to say the Bible is not up for subjective interpretation. I think I am pretty safe in saying that playboy models interpretation would not be right

Yeah, it’s not up for subjective interpretation. And that’s why we assign equal weight to Leviticus 18:22 and Leviticus 25:44. Wait, we do assign equal weight to those, do we not? Because if the book is not up for subjective interpretation, then surely we handle each rule with the same gravity?

The reliable “blwaffle” jumps into the fray to make everyone squirm uncomfortably in their seats:

DD and I were watching a program once about a mother of 3 that fell on such hard times that she started strip dancing. DD asked me, “Would you do that?” (of course with this body, H—no!) I said no. She asked even if we were dirt poor and hungry? And I told her that if it ever came down to something that drastic then maybe I would.

Well, what a rapid abandonment of principles. Does this book (which is not up for subjective interpretation) say “Do not sin, lest ye need”?

Finally, “cnnplus5” makes everyone halt in their materfamilias judgments with this unbelievably ill-informed disquisition on modern dogma:

How come with most religions out there ie…muslim, catholic, jewish, whatever…. that a set of rules for that “religion” is acceptable to society, but with Christianity people get all hot under the collar if you bring up anything resembling a guideline or rule? Like anybody can be a Christian, no matter how they live but not everyone could be a Jew, or a Catholic or a Muslim unless they adhered to that religions “rules”. Just wondering…. not that I think Christianity has a set of rules, because I actually think the Bible is the story of Redemption to the world….but anyway, i was just wondering.

Um. There are no rules to Christianity? Do we think “cnnplus5” has even basic awareness of the Old Testament? No, no we do not. Good thing there’s an army of bored mothers waiting to set her straight.


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Filed under Family Life, Media, Religion

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