“Operation Stonewalled”: no, it’s not just a joke about gay rights or famous generals. Turns out it was the name of a huge drug bust up in ol’ Leavenworth, that haven of crime and mullets north of town. Among those arrested was a gentleman named Billy Trinkle — what is he, a country singer from 1940s Mississippi? — who just got two dimes in the case. But Trinkle has friends in semi-high places: the mayor of Leavenworth, the oddly named Shay Baker, wrote a letter in his defense requesting leniency. Huh? And what’s with this picture? Do mayors of Leavenworth have to go to Glamour Shots for their official portraits?
“I am writing this letter not because I believe Billy is innocent of the crimes he has been convicted of, or because I believe Billy should not be punished for those crimes. I am writing because I believe that Billy should receive a reasonable sentence and some consideration that, in my opinion, Billy can become a contributing and positive citizen after he serves his time,” Baker said.
Power to the people! Who cares if the guy purchased cocaine? He’s a friend of the mayor! Isn’t that enough to knock five years off his sentence? Come on, judge: Billy Trinkle IS the war on drugs! Don’t you trust this face?
It’s a no-brainer, Your Honor.