Category Archives: Chiefs

‘This Is Not The Winning Team You’re Looking For.’


Here we can see (IN A COPYRIGHTED PHOTO FROM THE KANSAS CITY STAR THAT WE ARE IN NO WAY PASSING OFF AS OUR OWN SO PLEASE GIVE CREDIT TO THEM AND SEE THE FULL SET HERE — PHEW screenshot from, because they asked us to take down all the photos they took) that the tailgating party at yesterday’s Chiefs/Raiders game was crashed by representatives of the Empire. Sadly, the Chiefs had to go all Death-Star-explosion on us and lose at the last second. Any way to freeze the disappointing and angry Todd Haley in carbonite?


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Chubby Horned Demon Invades Star Home Page, Frightens Small Children


Good. Lord. Thanks for kicking off my Sunday morning with something which will haunt my thoughts for perpetuity, Star. This is even worse than the notorious Neil Diamond/Hulk incident. The really sad part? That portly gentleman could probably play for the Chiefs — or the Raiders. Should be quite a contest of mediocrity at Camarohead today.

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Crimson On The Corner

So it’s Red Friday (insert joke about our nation’s descent towards communism here), otherwise known as “Day The Panhandling Street Corner Hobos Color Coordinate Their Outfits To Disguise Themselves As Fundraisers.”

Judging by this photo, it is also the day that the sworn nemeses of the Blue Man Group arrive in town.


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Star‘s Troubles Embodied In Graphic v. Headline Accuracy War

starchiefsscorediscrepancySo the Assemblage Of Mediocrity That Is The Kansas City Chiefs fell to their cross-state rivals tonight. No surprise there. But wait a second — maybe part of the problem is that no one could quite agree on what the score was in the third quarter.

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Chiefs Acknowledge Inevitability, Forfeit Season

chiefsfaceuptowhatshappeningAnd so the 2009-2010 season comes to a merciful end for the Kansas City Chiefs. The team, apparently admitting to itself that it doesn’t stand much of a chance against anyone this season, has decided to just avoid the suspense and declare the season over during the preseason. So it seems, anyway, based on this inspiring write-up in today’s Star. Quarterback? Hurt. Offensive coordinator? Fired. Head coach? Typically brusque and Rumsfeldian in his answers. Man, we can’t wait to get out to Camarohead for a game!

It was the most bizarre day in what has been a year of upheaval for the Chiefs.

With three days left until the final preseason game, offensive coordinator Chan Gailey was fired on Monday. Matt Cassel, the new quarterback with a big contract and injured knee, not only was nowhere to be seen, but because he was unavailable to practice, head coach Todd Haley would not acknowledge his existence.

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! Cassel has been spirited away to an undisclosed location, and those poor souls cursed with season tickets are heading for the exits. So is there anything positive happening at the endless parking lot that is the Truman Sports Complex? Well… there are some sweet renovations to look forward to. Um, hooray? Watching a team go 0-16 is much more luxurious in a taxpayer-financed pleasure palace, after all.

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Drunken Organ Harvesters Mar Otherwise Placid Preseason Opener


Here’s a lovely sight from this weekend’s Chiefs game (photo appropriated from Ink), where this rowdy group of revelers fashioned a beer bong from the spinal column of the planet’s smartest vertebrate. Even more disturbing was the performance of the team itself, which managed ten measly points over four quarters of “football.” Spoiler alert: the team is still terrible.

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@Hilarity: OMG! No Tweets Drng Prctice? WTF, Chiefs?

sportsreportersatchiefspracticeIf your idea of getting essential sports news is poring through the latest worthless, self-indulgent updates from pale white men who never became professional athletes, then this is a bad day for you. The Chiefs have Avada Kedavra’d the emerging use of what The Kids are calling Twitter, saying the team’s beat reporters cannot use the unbelievably self-aggrandizing medium (“You’re also watching Conan? Squee!”) while at practice in River Falls. This comes despite a “league memo” that teams should actually encourage the use of Twitter. The flap comes on the heels of MN QB Tarvaris Jackson’s little adventure this week.

Several NFL teams, including the Chiefs, are making sure reporters stay off Twitter during training camp. At least seven teams prevent reporters from tweeting during practices.

Driving the clampdown is fear that privileged information will get leaked. Some NFL teams have even banned their players from using Twitter.

Well, okay. But how does this affect the crucial reporting of the Star‘s Kent Babb, who has provided KC readers with simply essential information from training camp? This of course includes must-read breaking news, such as:

kb_kcstar: @photogwingsfan: If I ever see a real Centaur, I’m finishing my drink and walking in the opposite direction.

Sigh. Way to prove them wrong, Babb.

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