Category Archives: City Government

A Vote For COMBAT Extension Is A Vote For Hyperbole

While the attention surrounding the Nov. 3 election has primarily focused on various national elections (the Virginia and New Jersey gubernatorial races, for instance), here in the metro area Jackson County voters are being asked to extend the one-quarter cent COMBAT (Community Backed Anti-Drug Sales Tax).

Well, a group called Citizens for Crime Reduction would like you to know what future awaits if said sales tax is NOT extended– take a look at this mailer that is circulating around town:

COMBAT

Yes, JaxCountians! If you see fit to reject this extension, prepare to become a veritable Heartland Hadithah, as COMBAT is the only thing preventing the city and county from becoming a military-occupied parcel of land! Better learn your Arabic characters, because the Shiite is about to go down!

While we’re indulging in overwrought similes, COMBAT is also like George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life in that if the tax didn’t exist, that mean old Mr. Potter would run Bedford Falls Kansas City into the ground with his drug empire, and Mary Hatch would likely be turning tricks for an eight-ball of coke.

Listen, we get that COMBAT contributes to some worthwhile drug treatment and prevention programs. But drawing references to Iraq is waaaaay over the top. It has no relevance whatsoever to this discussion. If you’re looking for an Iraq “with drugs,” we have a more apt comparison for you: Afghanistan.

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Filed under City Government, Crime, Economics, In the News, Uncategorized

Treehuggers Checkmate Hunters In Bizarre, Awesome Act Of Melodrama

perhapshowjasongotthedeersheadFor some time we’ve been following the little flap over deer-eradication in Shawnee Mission Park, where the ungulates have outgrown their suburban constraints and are bothering pretty much everyone. Both sides have been a little careless with their rhetoric, with the pro-death crowd hiring a squad of weekend warrior mercenaries, and the pro-deer crowd erecting billboards to persuade passersby that Bambi should live. But that was all child’s play — because a man named Jason Miller has trumped anything and everything with one act of perplexing, amazing, gutsy defiance. He took it to a Lord of the Flies level, and now we say: game, set, match.

Yes, it’s the severed head of a deer.

Jason Miller, an animal rights activist, got the deer head from a meat processor and brought it to Shawnee Mission Park today.

He wanted to graphically demonstate what is about to happen to 75 percent of a herd of deer in Shawnee Mission Park that is estimated to be about 700.

Oh, sweet lord. Who goes to a meat processor and asks for a deer’s head? And who places said head in a basket and leaves it for officials? Insanity, thy name is Jason Miller. But it gets so much better.

Miller referred to the deer head as Victoria and said that if the “planned slaughter” goes forward, “I (Victoria) will be the future face of Shawnee Mission Park, which would in turn come to be known as Death Park.”

Um. You f’ing named it? You… you do realize it’s just a severed head, right? And not an actual living creature? We do like the part about “Death Park,” though. Kind of catchy, and it would probably clear out the jogging trails a bit. The bottom line here, though, is a) environmentalists know no dramatic bounds, and b) Jason Miller’s mind works in odd ways.

Your move, park officials.

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Filed under Animals, City Government, Oddities, Science, The Arts

‘You Want This Emaciated Prisoner Back? Meet My Demands, Then. That’s Right — All The Shoes…’

funkbeingheldprisonerbygloria

Here, courtesy of Mayor Funkhouser’s all-too-public Facebook page, we can see that Ms. Squitiro has decided to take drastic action: holding her husband hostage in a poorly lit City Hall basement. We can only imagine what she’s thinking: “What do you think of your volunteer ordinance now, Council?”

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Filed under City Government, Funkhouser

Jesus-Hating Blue Springs Denies Sign For Local Christian School

thebigmansreactiontotheplazaheightsfiascoWoe is Christianity! The oft-persecuted faith is again under assault from heartless, secular bureaucrats — those evil souls who sit in their heathen dens of government iniquity and devise new ways to keep poor Christians from celebrating their faith freely. The target this time? The Plaza Heights Christian Academy, which decided to earn some publicity by erecting a sign on the property it shares with an affiliated church. The only problem? The property already had a sign! So the city of Blue Springs told them to take it down. Is it because they’re following the city’s rules — or because THEY HATE JESUS? Yeah, it’s the rule thing.

The school is housed in the same building as Plaza Heights Baptist Church.  The church already had a sign in front of the building and the city’s sign code allows for only one sign on a property of that size.

However, gas stations and fast food restaurants don’t have the same limitations.

Scott Allen, Community Development Director for Blue Springs, says the Planning Commission recently denied the schools (sic) request to have a second sign.

One of their concerns was that the school asked for the permit after the sign was already installed.

Oh, so… this was a perfectly judicious ruling? And the school/church side didn’t even follow the proper rules of sign construction — and now has the gall to complain of foul treatment? Yeah, we’re probably gonna have to side with the city on this one. How about this, Plaza Heights Christian Academy: you could share a sign with your church affiliate, no? And maybe not compare houses of education to the shilling of burgers and fried chicken?

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Filed under City Government, Politics, Religion

Shay Baker Maintains Intense Focus On What’s Important During Very Trying Day

shaybakerknowswhatsreallyimportant

Here we can see, courtesy of deposed Leavenworth Mayor Shay Baker’s Facebook page — why is it that public servants don’t make their pages private? — that she knows what’s really important on this difficult day. You can also read, courtesy of the Star (Hey, we’re just linking! No stealing!), Ms. Baker’s rambling and syntactically unsound statement on the matter. Soon this long regional nightmare will be behind us.

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Filed under City Government, Politics

Shay Baker Gets Avada Kedavra’d By Leavenworth Commissioners

shaygetstherecessiontreatmentAt last, though long, our jarring notes agree/And time it is when raging war is done/To smile at ‘scapes and perils overblown. Sad news from the mystical land of Leavenworth tonight: Shay Baker, Glamour Shot princess and friend o’ coke dealers, has been forced out of office by the cruel winds of fate — and by the heartless souls of the Leavenworth City Commission. Alas, poor Shay! I knew her, Horatio: a woman of infinite poor decision-making. The move comes, of course, after Baker lent her pen to the cause of leniency for devoted coca plant fan Billy Trinkle — a kind move, perhaps, but maybe one best done in the capacity of private citizen.

The action came after an emotional apology from Baker, who remains on the City Commission.

“Never at any time did I intend for this letter to be from anyone but me,” she told residents, adding that she did not intend to disrespect the police.

“I apologize if you feel that I have not been a good representative.”

Commissioner Larry Dedeke, a former police officer, said he felt that Baker’s letter was disrespectful to police officers and citizens.

“I think that they’ve been slapped in the face,” he said.

Slapped in the face? Methinks you overstate the matter, sir. What we’re talking about here is a rather poor exercise of judgment by the mayor, not a deliberate attempt to subvert the judicial process or put a thumb in the eye of law enforcement. What’s unfortunate is that we’ve become a scalp-happy culture, in which one must fall in order to properly rectify a wrong. We caught Shay, thanks to the magic of public records, in flagrante delicto trying to help an old friend, no matter how unwise that friendship may have been. Her aims were admirable, but her methods were deeply questionable.

Shay Baker screwed up, to be sure. Is the mistake worth her job? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it deserves more reflection by Larry and Co. Feel free to contribute your own opinion. One thing is certain: Star commenters are here to focus on the real story.

she is cute…

I’d still hit it…

She’s really cute! Too bad she lacks good judgement. Wait…that could work in my favor… haha!

Stay classy, Star commenters.

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Filed under City Government, Crime, Politics

Raymore Felicide Draws Wrath Of Star Readers With Keyboards, Spare Time

nothappywiththeraymorepolicecatkillingUh-oh. If there’s one constituency you want to leave very well alone, it’s people who may potentially write letters to the editor of the local paper of record. Trust us: you never know what these people are going to say. They might announce a run for Congress — which never did go anywhere, Joyce Howard; harumph — or fail miserably in exegesis. Best to just avoid them entirely. Isn’t it a shame, then, that the overlords of the Raymore Police Department have gone and earned the ire of said readers in the wake of that pesky cat-killin’ episode. Tremble in your boots!

The police chief and every last one of his officers should be assigned to community service hours at area shelters, rescue operations and no-kill shelters. Maybe an hour or two on the floor soothing a feral cat that has just been spayed or neutered at one of the city’s low-cost or no-cost spay and neuter clinics would help them to understand the difference.

Unbelievable.
Candyce Kuebler
Parkville

Whew! I’m sure glad I don’t have to be afraid of the deaf, declawed old cats when I go to Raymore. I know the police are right on top of things.

The holiday weekend was no excuse to shoot the cat. Someone could have taken it home until they found the owner. I can’t imagine how scared the poor cat must have been.

Shame on the Raymore Police Department.
Sharon Sheets
Riverside

Oh, man. Fierce, matronly condemnations AND the keen deployment of sarcasm as critical tool? Kind of makes you wonder if the RPD folks regret getting out of bed today. Speaking of Star letters, by the way: does this second one seem vaguely threatening to you? And do you get the feeling that “Sam McDaniel–Independence”‘s tea party threats are pretty much hollow, and that he’s already turned his attention back to Glenn Beck and a can of Old Style?

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Filed under Animals, City Government, Crime, Media