Category Archives: Crime

In Retrospect, Perhaps A Bake Sale Would Have Been A Better Way To Go

auctioneerAs most folks know by now, over the past week anti-abortion and pro-crazy forces were showing off their Internetz skillz by organizing an eBay auction of items in order to fund the defense of Scott Roeder, Hit Man of the Almighty/alleged murderer of Wichita doctor George Tiller. ‘Cause although the Lord may instruct you to gun down a man during services in one of His houses of worship, you’re on your own when it comes to dealing with the aftermath.

Unfortunately, those heathens at the the online auction house disappointed those wanting to do the Lord’s bidding (cue drum & cymbal) on the various items, as eBay execs began removing the “murderabilia.” Hmm. Maybe fundraisers would have better luck with this site. I mean, come on! Who wouldn’t want any of this stuff?

Items organizers said were being donated for the auction include several drawings submitted by Roeder; an Army of God manual that describes dozens of ways to shut down abortion clinics; and a prison cookbook compiled by Shelley Shannon, who shot Tiller in 1993 and is serving time for clinic arsons and bombings.

On Sunday, however, the only items listed were a document of religious instruction written by a convicted clinic bomber and a Bible that belonged to Shannon.

“It has all the pro-life passages highlighted,” [auction organizer Dave] Leach said of the Bible.

Interesting. Perhaps bomber/attempted murderer Shannon highlighted this oldie but goodie from Exodus 20:13: “THOU SHALL NOT KILL.”  For ilk who tend to state that the Bible does not consist of a buffet of laws that we mortals get to selectively choose to obey, they sure seem to be glossing over one of the Decalogue’s Greatest Hits.

Well, now we learn that the pro-life-but-really-only-for-zygotes folks not only disregard the laws of God and eBay, but they also disdain those of our nation’s copyright system. As cartoonist Rob Tornoe notes in a piece on Daryl Cagle’s Political Cartoonists Index, among the artworks included in the auction items was a cartoon done by an associate of Roeder’s that blatantly plagiarizes an image produced by a syndicated cartoonist: Continue reading

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Filed under Crime, In the News, Law, Religion, Strange news, Uncategorized

A Vote For COMBAT Extension Is A Vote For Hyperbole

While the attention surrounding the Nov. 3 election has primarily focused on various national elections (the Virginia and New Jersey gubernatorial races, for instance), here in the metro area Jackson County voters are being asked to extend the one-quarter cent COMBAT (Community Backed Anti-Drug Sales Tax).

Well, a group called Citizens for Crime Reduction would like you to know what future awaits if said sales tax is NOT extended– take a look at this mailer that is circulating around town:

COMBAT

Yes, JaxCountians! If you see fit to reject this extension, prepare to become a veritable Heartland Hadithah, as COMBAT is the only thing preventing the city and county from becoming a military-occupied parcel of land! Better learn your Arabic characters, because the Shiite is about to go down!

While we’re indulging in overwrought similes, COMBAT is also like George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life in that if the tax didn’t exist, that mean old Mr. Potter would run Bedford Falls Kansas City into the ground with his drug empire, and Mary Hatch would likely be turning tricks for an eight-ball of coke.

Listen, we get that COMBAT contributes to some worthwhile drug treatment and prevention programs. But drawing references to Iraq is waaaaay over the top. It has no relevance whatsoever to this discussion. If you’re looking for an Iraq “with drugs,” we have a more apt comparison for you: Afghanistan.

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Filed under City Government, Crime, Economics, In the News, Uncategorized

Cultural Anthropologist Jason Whitlock Finally Explains Street Culture To KC

jasonwhitlockissmoothwiththeladiesRegular readers of this site know that we are no fans of Jason Whitlock, the Star‘s painfully unfunny sports race columnist. His commendable reporting skills have slipped in recent years, replaced by tired rants, pitiable reliance on allegedly hip slang, and odd digressions about the female body. But at long last, Jason has turned his sights to his true passion: explaining street culture to staid white people. Finally! The city has long awaited a professional anthropologist who could delve into the minds of black youth and plumb the depths of their upbringing, bringing shallow and pithy analysis to the pages of a once-great paper. And now Jason has his chance with the little donnybrook over in Lawrence. So prepare yourself, for Dr. Whitlock is about to begin. MORE

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Filed under Crime, Education, In the News, Jason Whitlock, Media, Race & Ethnicity

So What The Hell’s Going On In Lawrence These Days?

nowheresaguywhoknewhowtofightinlawrenceThe talk of Kansas City this week, at least between the sports fans among us, is the very odd (and perhaps totally unsurprising) contretemps between gridiron athletes and hardwood athletes. The word among the local media is that tensions between the two squads are long-running but heretofore suppressed, or at least kept out of the spotlight. However, with the e-discussions of Tyshawn “point plankn” Taylor, the whole conflict has bubbled to the surface. The cause, shockingly? Ladies. Ah, men — have we ever fought over anything else? (Religion, I suppose. And oil.) In today’s Star, the elegantly named J. Brady McCollough manages to score some interviews with anonymous former athletes, who tell JBM that things were pretty much always thus.

“It’s always been a feud between basketball and football players,” said a recently graduated former KU football player who asked to remain anonymous. “It’s been an ongoing thing.”

A recently departed former KU basketball player had the same experience.

“It’s about who’s more popular on campus with the girls and stuff like that,” said the player, who also requested anonymity. “It’s escalated really bad now, but it’s always been there.”

So what are we to make of this? KU has an ascendant football program — cupcake opponents notwithstanding — but it’s not like the basketball program is slipping. Mount Oread has always been the traditional province of Naismith’s game and its players, but with an upstart, Mangino-led football program, it’s probably only natural that a turf war would erupt. But fights in public? Players being ushered into SUVs and whisked away? Emergency meetings with Self and Mangino? Pretty ridiculous, especially under the watchful eye of the even-keeled (and Uncle Festerian) Lew Perkins.

The local media is all atwitter over the event, and is chronicling the various local opinions. Can we expect suspensions in the matter? Elite athletic schools, of which KU is indisputably one, are loath to suspend the athletes who bring in the money, but in this case the pressure may come down from the new chancellor and old, rich donors who are sick of such juvenile behavior. Stay tuned, I guess.

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Kansas City: Premier Destination For Portly, Imprisoned Baseball Fans

chubbyvisitortoaroyalsgameDon’t you just hate it when you really have your heart set on catching the Red Sox/Royals series, and then you go and get busted for “interference with official acts and violation of a protective order”? Yeah, us too! I mean, here you are looking forward to seeing a mediocre baseball team play a team with the most insufferable fans in the game (“Sully! We drove wicked fah to see the Sawx in this town with bah-becue!”), and then an arrest comes your way. Sigh; life is unfair. Oh, unless you happen to be imprisoned in Keosaqua, Iowa, in which case: have fun at the game!

An Iowa man serving a 10-day jail sentence walked out of jail on Wednesday to attend a baseball game in Kansas City with his family…

Barker will attend the Red Sox game in Kansas City with his father and brother. Barker’s father, Norman, said Wednesday that the family had been planning the trip for 3 months and they haven’t been able to attend a game in 25 years.

Waggoner said Barker’s request was approved “as a special consideration for the family.”

Um. Hadn’t been able to attend a game in 25 years? Perhaps you could have done so had you avoided every Dunkin’ Donuts outlet you passed in that time, sir. And what’s with the general subversion of justice here? Wayne Knight Mr. Barker was convicted of a crime (harassing a local family by calling as many as 60 times a night) — and thus forfeited his right to attend any and all sporting events during the period of his sentence. Nah, nothing about this adds up at all. Glad you chose our city, though.

Photo via KMBC.

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Filed under Crime, Law, Royals, Sports

Tyshawn Taylor Blows Old Media’s Mind With Bizarre Facebook Rants

perhapstyshawnshouldsticktostandardinterviewsIf you’re a fan of KU basketball — and good god, you people are everywhere — then you already know that noted student-athlete Tyshawn Taylor got into a bit of a fracas yesternight in front of the Union. Alas, we suppose. The real story here, though, is Taylor’s preferred means for dealing with this situation — namely, by keeping the cyberworld updated on his opinions via grammatically and syntactically questionable Facebook updates.

“I got a dislocated finger ..from throwing a punch ..so don’t let the news paper gas yall up aite,” Taylor wrote.

Minutes earlier, around midnight, he wrote: “real (racial slur)s do real things .. point plankn.”

His earlier posts indicate there may have been escalating tension.

“keep my name out ya’ mouth for you get smacked in it,” he wrote at 11:12 a.m. Tuesday, and 30 minutes later he posted, “never get outta character .. I’m always a G about it.”

About 4 p.m., Taylor posted, “(racial slur)s be muggin me ..you know I’m mugging back.”

We hear that “always a G about it” was actually the rejected title for Billy Joel’s “She’s Always a Woman.” No word yet on what this will mean for Taylor’s future with the Self Crew, though you can see a suspension rounding the corner of Mass St.

Incidentally, “point plankn,” whatever the hell it means, is pretty much the new favorite phrase around the Bovine Comedy offices.

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Dear KC Old People,
PLEASE STOP FALLING FOR INTERNET SCAMS. They’re really pretty easy to spot. Seriously.
Love,
Everyone

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