Oh, man. Following the great tradition of fixation upon harebrained ideas hatched during periods of pondering — ever have a conversation with a stoned guy about how awesome the universe is, bro? — the Star‘s Lewis Diuguid has completely solved all the nation’s (nay, the world’s!) problems with today’s column. Lewis D, seemingly without a trace of irony or tongue-in-cheekitude, suggests that our highest lawmaking body create — yes, seriously — a Department of Peace. Seems Dennis Kucinich Lewis thinks the massive new bureaucracy could be responsible for finding nonviolent solutions to pressing problems. Um, Lewis? You know this would never, ever work, right? And that ideas like these are what make it easy to caricature the left as a bunch of pie-in-the-sky hippies? Yeah, you’re not doing us any favors here. In fact, let’s just take this line by line. MORE
Category Archives: Family Life
Lewis Diuguid: ‘We Should Totally Create A Department Of Peace, Man! Doesn’t That Just Blow Your Mind?’
Congrats, Overland Park! You’re no longer just the province of ludicrously named development projects — you’re now the local leader in a category everyone wants to lead. Last night (this morning?) at 2 ante meridiem, OP police responded to a call on the north side of town, where a local 29-year-old rapscallion was quarrelling with his parents. He had made a mess in the basement, apparently. Where he lives. You know, with his parents. Reach for the stars, sir. The only problem? He was also keeping his bomb-makin’ stuff down there. Yipes.
Police arrested the man and while searching the house found suspicious, possibly volatile materials, Weaver said. The man was charged later in the day with misdemeanor property damage.
Police evacuated houses adjacent to the home and had other nearby residents take shelter in their basements or leave, Weaver said.
The department’s bomb squad has removed legal materials from the house that could be used to create explosive materials, Weaver said.
Come on, man. The first rule of bomb construction is that you do it off-site. Didn’t they teach you that in militia camp? And just now where are you going to stay? At your girlfriend’s chat room buddy’s house?
So have you heard of this silly little microblogging service? Apparently it lets you post your thoughts and opinions in 140 characters or fewer. Oh, right: of course you’ve heard of it — because you can’t pick up a goddamn newspaper without finding a lede like “In the age of Facebook and Twitter…” Sheesh. Way to be creative, MSM; this is up there with “In this economy…” Well, you know who just discovered this crazy “Twitter” phenomenon? The bored housewives over at Mom2Mom, the Star‘s underwhelming blog about celebrity gossip and chocolate issues affecting modern KC mothers. Mom2Mom editrix Kady McMaster — which we’ll admit is kind of an awesome name; sounds like an Elmore Leonard character — has instructed all her mindless drone followers to look into this whole Twitterizing thing themselves.
I learned a TON, but my No. 1 take-away? Twitter, Twitter, Twitter! If you are a blogger and you don’t yet Tweet, you will be soon. It’s the THING. It’s a great, speedy way to share links and get people to your blog quick.
Mom2mom’s Twitter handle is mom2momkc. Check us out on Twitter.com. And follow us! We update every day with a link to the newest blog on the site. And after the BlogHer conference, I’ve vowed to update even MORE on site topics of broad interest. Stay tuned on that one. 🙂
Oh, lord. Mom2Mom is Twitterifying? Yes, it’s true. And the updates are just as scintillating as you might imagine.
Wow, what a wonderfully useful social tool. Thanks, Mom2Mom.
Some uncomfortable news out of Raymore this morning, as the Star details in the scandalous story o’ the day. Seems there’s been a bit of police brutality — directed at a 19-year-old housecat — and the incident is leading to all sorts of discomfiting questions, like “What is this ‘Raymore’ of which you speak?” I guess it’s someplace south of town, or something. Maybe north. No idea, really. What we do know is that it was the site of a gangland, execution-style killing that pretty much ruined the Labor Day of Kelly Wesner (pictured above, gazing into the heavens at sunset) and her daughter — no, really — Hayley Schmuck. From the paper of record’s account:
Somehow, Tobey had gotten out of the house Monday and wandered down the street and into a neighbor’s garage, said Wesner, who owned the cat for 18 years.
An adult at that house sprayed Tobey with a garden hose to get him to leave, according to city reports on the incident.
Officers captured Tobey with a “catch pole.” A supervisor told the officer to take Tobey, who wore no tag, to a remote area and “put him down,” a police report said…
A police officer would take Tobey into a field and shoot him twice in the head. He then put the body in a plastic grocery bag and disposed of it in a city trash bin.
Um. Excuse me? Is this how we deal with rabid cats these days? With Sopranos-style hits carried out in empty fields? When did Uncle Junior start running the Raymore PD? Anyway, as you can imagine, the clan in question was not pleased when it received news of the happenings. And does this sound like a threatening cat?
Tobey wasn’t vicious, Wesner said. He was declawed, deaf, weighed only 6 pounds and had his own prescription drug card at Walgreens.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: cats can have prescription drug cards? Apparently, yes. Further complicating the tale is the fact that the body was simply thrown away instead of being examined or tested. So, Raymore PD: what are you hiding, sirs? Perhaps you’re running some illicit drug-smuggling ring using cats, and Tobey learned a little too much? Your city, wherever it is, demands answers!
Is there a higher power? Do humans have a larger spiritual quest on this spinning rock of ours? What lies beyond the edges of our beloved Milky Way? Tough questions all, and probably ones best left to the divinity students over at Mom2Mom, the Star‘s reliably dull and relentlessly comical motherhood blog. The current favorite topic? Theology, and how the tenets of Christianity may or may not be reflected in Heidi Montag’s decision to pose in America’s classic chronicler of female bodies and stereo equipment. And as usual, the conversation is rife with wincingly terrible prose. Take it away, “parkvillemommy”:
My favorite part is where she says that God created her body. Yes, well, the plastic surgeon provided a little help, too.
Hey-o! Watch your backs, Borscht Belt comedians! Luckily, “Neba” is here to steer the conversation back toward the biq questions:
To many, it doesn’t seem like a very “Christian thing to do” (including me), but if she says she is a Christian then I guess she is.
Wait, so… even though A contradicts B, A is still okay because… why, exactly? MORE