Category Archives: Media

Playing a little fast and loose with headline adjectives, no?

1 Comment

Filed under Grammar, Media

Looking for a laugh? Page through this forum discussion on Mom2Mom about the ethics of banning books. Sample quote: As far as banning the books, it depends what you mean by banning. Do I think they should be burned? No. Trenchant!

Leave a comment

Filed under Media, Technology, The Arts

Cultural Anthropologist Jason Whitlock Finally Explains Street Culture To KC

jasonwhitlockissmoothwiththeladiesRegular readers of this site know that we are no fans of Jason Whitlock, the Star‘s painfully unfunny sports race columnist. His commendable reporting skills have slipped in recent years, replaced by tired rants, pitiable reliance on allegedly hip slang, and odd digressions about the female body. But at long last, Jason has turned his sights to his true passion: explaining street culture to staid white people. Finally! The city has long awaited a professional anthropologist who could delve into the minds of black youth and plumb the depths of their upbringing, bringing shallow and pithy analysis to the pages of a once-great paper. And now Jason has his chance with the little donnybrook over in Lawrence. So prepare yourself, for Dr. Whitlock is about to begin. MORE

Leave a comment

Filed under Crime, Education, In the News, Jason Whitlock, Media, Race & Ethnicity

Time To End The War Of Attrition Plaguing The Star‘s Letters Section

Dear Kansas City,
Look, we get it. A lot of you are upset. A third of you think that President Hope is running this country into the ground. A third of you think racism is driving any and all criticism of the administration. And a third of you pretty much don’t care, which makes you the worst portion of the pie chart. But for now, let’s focus on the yeas and the nays — those all-too-vocal citizens who are reenacting the Thrilla in Manila in the pages of the Star‘s Letters to the Editor section. Every day for about three months, there has been a letter either warning of a looming apocalypse or warning of the lunatics saying such things. Today’s letter, a rambling, illogical, and shrill missive, from Leawood’s Pam Zubeck is evidence that the debate has finally gone too far. Some samples of its low points:

It doesn’t take a talk show host to make reasonable, rational individuals realize there is something wrong with the way this country is being run today… News flash to the left: You don’t own the First Amendment… It seems to me the 9/12 protesters are the very people who are trying to save this republic… The “progressives” of 1776 gave their lives, fortunes and sacred honor so we can be free. The “progressives” of 2009 in no way resemble the “progressives” of the American Revolution… The 2009 progressives want enslavement to the government… Don’t call yourself a progressive and then say you’re in the same league with Washington, Jefferson, Adams and Franklin, because you’re not even close.

Well. I’m not sure I have the energy to point out exactly why Ms. Zubeck has deep-sixed reality so fervently, but perhaps a message to the respective sides will help us end at least one theater of this war: the Star‘s letters section. Because, you know, we need more room for stuff like this. Anyway, to the lecturing. MORE

Leave a comment

Filed under Economics, Education, In the News, Media, Politics, Race & Ethnicity

@Worthlessness: Star Reporter Uses Twitter To Obsess Over Autumn, Mexican Food

whatcronkletonistweetingaboutAs I am frequently reminded, I am alone among this site’s contributors in failing to grasp the value of Twitter, that vogue-ish haven of solipsism social networking tool that all The Kids seem to be talking about. Call me crazy, but I’m a bit skeptical on this whole “not worried about profits” thing; haven’t we been down this road? It also seems that for every user sharing news and links, there are ten users sharing their thoughts on the weather and what they plan to eat for lunch. Case in point? The Star‘s Robert Cronkleton — owner of the most awesomely dinosaurian name in all of local media — and his Twitter feed, which satisfies us all with scintillating updates (again, and again, and again…) on his most pressing personal issues. The latest? Mexican food, and his lack of ingredients therein. Oh, and how much he loves fall. MORE

2 Comments

Filed under Food, Media, Technology

Men Of UMKC Totally Standin’ Up For Women, Bro

worstfrathazingeveratumkcPerhaps you heard that yesterday was the “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” event across the country. That means, apparently, doing what you can to stop domestic violence and sexual assault and all those other awul things that degenerate males think are okay. The whole “walk a mile” thing, though? That’s kind of a metaphor, dating back to the age-old maxim. Oops: someone forgot to explain to the gentlemen of UMKC — the Harvard of Midtown — exactly how a metaphor operates. (And they’re probably pretty fuzzy on metonymy and synecdoche, too. ) The result? Perhaps the strangest fraternity initiation ever.

They say if you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, you’ll understand them better.

That’s what several hundred men did Tuesday night by walking in high-heeled shoes…

“If I can make a stand, a difference in the world, I’m down with that.”

Yeah, dude! We are also so down with that! Stopping violence against women is just off the hook — almost as awesome as The Blueprint 3.

Also included in the story was this little gem:

The event also encourages men to respect women, even if that respect is earned by wearing pumps.”

I just did it for 10 minutes. People who do it all day — that’s hard,” one walker said.

Uh… if we really cared about respecting women, wouldn’t we just stop perpetuating a system that makes them wear painfully uncomfortable, aesthetically preposterous shoes? Just sayin’.

Photo via KMBC. Please don’t sue us.

Leave a comment

Filed under Education, Media, Oddities, Social Life

Star Commenters FTW

starcommenterscelebratevictoryovertbcA few posts ago, we shone our underwhelming spotlight on the Star‘s front-page toiletstravaganza, and the ensuing puns and populism therein. But man oh man — any attempt at humor made by these unimpressive twentysomethings pales in comparison to the Seinfeldian excellence brought to the party by the paper’s intrepid commenters, who saw fit to engage in a bit of scatalogical brinkmanship and one-up-ery. And now — because you really, really need to see this — we bring you the finest comments on the story from the Comment Brigade. To the Punmobile!

Audie Murphy – Number 1 in Number 2.

This story is full of crap . . .

This will put a lot less stress on the Muffin Monster I presume.

Great invention. Now make it bigger so people can flush themselves. Make it available to banks.

Send a gross to Washington!!

does this come with a “pruno” recipe book?

Sounds like this guy came up with this brand by sitting on the toilet too long.

I really need to take a Murphy!

[commences slow clap]

You know, sometimes you can sense when you’ve been bested. This, friends, is one of those times. Star commenters — for so long the target of our persecution and ire based upon their jackassery, thinly veiled racism, and grammatical sins — have defeated us. Those are some fine, fine jokes (except for the bank one; trying too hard, mon frere), and we admit that you’ve emerged victorious here. Savor it, anonymous jackals — we have not yet begun to fight.

Leave a comment

Filed under Local Business, Media