Category Archives: Real Estate

Bambi’s Defenders Raise Bar In Shawnee Mission Park Rhetoric Fight

whatwillsoonbedyingatshawneemissionparkRemember that little flap a few months back over the potential deer slaughter in Shawnee Mission Park? Apparently the antler’d creatures are overrunning the place (even more so than groping joggers!), and so the authorities authorized a bunch of weekend warriors to come, er, take care of things. But wait! Don’t count out the nature-lovers just yet — they’ve pooled money from their Sierra Club donations and Nation subscriptions and have paid to erect a billboard condemning the inevitable killing. And they’re not being melodramatic at all, we assure you.

Opponents of the shootings have recently put up a billboard in downtown Kansas City, Mo., to protest them. The billboard reads, “Don’t let your tax dollars become blood money.”…

“What you’re about to do, gentlemen, is unholy and ungodly,” Shawnee resident Vicki Needham said at the July meeting.

Yeah, that’s not overstating the case. Not one bit. But if you fall squarely on the side of those brave men who sit in deer blinds and wait for the creatures to walk by — so sporting! — don’t fret: people on your side are here to help with totally lucid and clear statements. Or, you know, this:

“Things like bloodlust and ineffective are just not true,” Shawnee resident Michael Eagan said at a July parks board meeting.

Oh. Now we see. Sorry, armchair environmentalists. Looks like this purge will not be derailed. Time to get back to watching PBS and lauding Cindy Sheehan.

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Filed under Animals, City Government, Crime, Real Estate, Sports

Odd Smell In South-Central KC Is Just Smell Of South-Central KC

smellingaround81standhighlandSniff, sniff. Hey, smell that? Something smells… weird. Like maybe… a meth house! Yeah, yeah, that’s it — a meth house! Quick, call the cops. There’s meth somewhere around 81st and Highland! Wait, what? Oh, too bad: that’s just the smell of the area around 81st and Highland.

A foul odor permeating a south-central Kansas City neighborhood this afternoon brought a prompt response from the fire and police departments.

But what was feared to be a possible methamphetamine lab turned out to be a lot of spilled oil and gasoline.

Alas. Nothing to see here, folks. Just a lot of spilled gasoline. You know, because that’s pretty normal.

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Filed under Real Estate

After Visit To Village West Hooters, Cerner CEO Reveals Why Soccer Complex Really Changed Locations

cernerceorevealswhathereallywants

Ahem. Here we see local businessman of note Neal Patterson explaining to his frat brothers exactly why the company chose the, er, ample real estate of WyCo over the sad-sack Bannister Mall area.

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Filed under Local Business, Real Estate, Social Life

Poor, Sad Wyandotte County Can’t Even Host Own Fair

thewyandottecountyfairboardPity the Dot. The metro area’s most notoriously crime-ridden and poverty-stricken (and all sorts of other compound adjectives you never want to attract) geographic entity has suffered a further indignity. It’s fair season, of course: the time when people of all stripes get together to celebrate meat on a stick and the execrable smell of livestock. But if you’re looking to do any fair-ing in Wyandotte County — and may we add that we don’t appreciate the WYCO initialization? Why are you yelling at us? — you might just be out of luck. You’ll have to head over to the ‘worth:

KMBC’s Bev Chapman reported that the former fairgrounds were sold to a water park two years ago. The Woodlands closed this year, so the county could not go there.

When Leavenworth County offered their facility, Wyandotte Fair officials accepted.

Alas and alack, you just can’t bring them back. How sad is this? The first two options for the fair are now a) an overwrought water park with a name that sounds like a sausage brand, and b) a defunct dog-racing park. This is the stuff Jeff Foxworthy jokes are made of, Wyandottians. If only you’d gotten that money from Buffett and his henchmen, eh? It’d be fair city around here!

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Filed under City Government, Economics, Family Life, Holidays, Real Estate

“I’ve Abandoned My BOY…er…CITY!”

DDayLewis_yellingAccording to Forbes magazine, Kansas City has abandonment issues:

Indeed, the Kansas City metro area tops our list of America’s Abandoned Cities. In Kansas City, rental vacancy rates rose from 11.9% to 15% over the past year; homeowner vacancy rates nearly doubled, up from 2.1% to 3.8%. Comparatively, the average homeowner vacancy rate in the country’s 75 largest metro areas improved slightly from 3% to 2.7%, while the rental vacancy rate edged up to 10.2% from 10% a year ago.

Fans of ubiquitous “Best/Worst of” lists may recall that the magazine is none too fond of the heartland, as we noted during our SOTL days.

But surely the tide is about to turn for the metro area — just look at the innovative sales tactics local realtors are developing to entice would-be homebuyers!

Forbes_screenshot

Message: Buy this house, and you’ll soon be…ON A BOAT!!!

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Filed under Economics, In the News, Real Estate, Social Life

‘International House Of Prayer’ Brings Crazy End-Times Philosophy, Blatant Copyright Violation To Kansas City

wesawthisguyattheinternationalhouseofprayerGiven that our city is already known as a bastion of tolerance, open-mindedness, and advancement of new theories, what the place really needs is a hefty dose of good ol’ fundamentalism. Wait, what’s that? We’re actually looked upon as Midwestern rubes devoted to social conservatism and farming? Huh. Oh, well: let’s add the crazy fundamentalism anyway. Look no further than the “International House of Prayer,” a kindasorta church type thing in south KC, where believers use the usual tricks of the trade — rock music, allegedly hip youth pastors, and plain old hellfire and damnation — to con Kansas City simpletons into thinking the end is near. From the Star‘s profile:

The digital signal from the International House of Prayer in south Kansas City makes its way via Washington, D.C., to Jerusalem, where it streams live on God TV for broadcast all over the world.

This … never … stops.

Two in the morning, 8 at night, dusk and dawn. Holidays and ice storms. Time doesn’t matter because these young worshippers are more concerned with the “End Times.” The signs are here. The Messiah is near.

So they’ve come here for the last 10 years, by the hundreds — thousands — for what perhaps is Kansas City’s biggest religious phenomenon in a century.

Oh, great. This will help our city achieve its goal of becoming a leader in life sciences. Don’t fear, though. IHOP’s con man zealot in chief, Mike Bickle, seems like a reasonable enough gentl — oh, wait.

Bickle says he’s heard God’s voice. And that he’s been to heaven. Twice….

In a recent post about a prophetic dream about war between Satan and Michael the archangel, Bickle wrote that he saw “large snakes, over 100 feet long and 50 feet thick, each having a huge head that looked like a dragon, and many of them were coming from the sky down to the earth.”
When Jesus returns to make war against his enemies and marches into Jerusalem, Bickle preaches, “untold millions will die in the wake of his righteous, loving judgments.”

That last sentence seems a bit contradictory, no?

So what is this place? Well… this seems simple. It’s ostensibly a headquarters for constant worship, but also a place that happens to offer education at — seriously — IHOP University (!) for the very low price of, um, $4,900. Hmm, what would J.C. think of that? (Speaketh an IHOP exec: “We believe in a God that provides financing.” Nice.) They’re expanding into the reaches of Grandview, and have plans to build some kind of hotel/office tower complex. And a Wal-Mart. Yes, the lord did always love synergistic developments.

More importantly, it’s a place where prayer is always going on. Always. Every hour of every day. People are moving here to live as a part of the IHOP community. The group supports Israel — not as a show of international solidarity, mind you, but because it’s an integral part of the end times plan. The lesson? The malleability of the religious mind never fails to amaze.

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Filed under Family Life, Local Business, Oddities, Politics, Real Estate, Religion, Strange news

Apparently KC sorely misinterpreted the Feds’ gift of “Heavy Metal” for the region:

KC is a candidate to store nation’s waste mercury

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Filed under City Government, Economics, In the News, Real Estate