Category Archives: Religion

In Retrospect, Perhaps A Bake Sale Would Have Been A Better Way To Go

auctioneerAs most folks know by now, over the past week anti-abortion and pro-crazy forces were showing off their Internetz skillz by organizing an eBay auction of items in order to fund the defense of Scott Roeder, Hit Man of the Almighty/alleged murderer of Wichita doctor George Tiller. ‘Cause although the Lord may instruct you to gun down a man during services in one of His houses of worship, you’re on your own when it comes to dealing with the aftermath.

Unfortunately, those heathens at the the online auction house disappointed those wanting to do the Lord’s bidding (cue drum & cymbal) on the various items, as eBay execs began removing the “murderabilia.” Hmm. Maybe fundraisers would have better luck with this site. I mean, come on! Who wouldn’t want any of this stuff?

Items organizers said were being donated for the auction include several drawings submitted by Roeder; an Army of God manual that describes dozens of ways to shut down abortion clinics; and a prison cookbook compiled by Shelley Shannon, who shot Tiller in 1993 and is serving time for clinic arsons and bombings.

On Sunday, however, the only items listed were a document of religious instruction written by a convicted clinic bomber and a Bible that belonged to Shannon.

“It has all the pro-life passages highlighted,” [auction organizer Dave] Leach said of the Bible.

Interesting. Perhaps bomber/attempted murderer Shannon highlighted this oldie but goodie from Exodus 20:13: “THOU SHALL NOT KILL.”  For ilk who tend to state that the Bible does not consist of a buffet of laws that we mortals get to selectively choose to obey, they sure seem to be glossing over one of the Decalogue’s Greatest Hits.

Well, now we learn that the pro-life-but-really-only-for-zygotes folks not only disregard the laws of God and eBay, but they also disdain those of our nation’s copyright system. As cartoonist Rob Tornoe notes in a piece on Daryl Cagle’s Political Cartoonists Index, among the artworks included in the auction items was a cartoon done by an associate of Roeder’s that blatantly plagiarizes an image produced by a syndicated cartoonist: Continue reading

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Filed under Crime, In the News, Law, Religion, Strange news, Uncategorized

Jesus-Hating Blue Springs Denies Sign For Local Christian School

thebigmansreactiontotheplazaheightsfiascoWoe is Christianity! The oft-persecuted faith is again under assault from heartless, secular bureaucrats — those evil souls who sit in their heathen dens of government iniquity and devise new ways to keep poor Christians from celebrating their faith freely. The target this time? The Plaza Heights Christian Academy, which decided to earn some publicity by erecting a sign on the property it shares with an affiliated church. The only problem? The property already had a sign! So the city of Blue Springs told them to take it down. Is it because they’re following the city’s rules — or because THEY HATE JESUS? Yeah, it’s the rule thing.

The school is housed in the same building as Plaza Heights Baptist Church.  The church already had a sign in front of the building and the city’s sign code allows for only one sign on a property of that size.

However, gas stations and fast food restaurants don’t have the same limitations.

Scott Allen, Community Development Director for Blue Springs, says the Planning Commission recently denied the schools (sic) request to have a second sign.

One of their concerns was that the school asked for the permit after the sign was already installed.

Oh, so… this was a perfectly judicious ruling? And the school/church side didn’t even follow the proper rules of sign construction — and now has the gall to complain of foul treatment? Yeah, we’re probably gonna have to side with the city on this one. How about this, Plaza Heights Christian Academy: you could share a sign with your church affiliate, no? And maybe not compare houses of education to the shilling of burgers and fried chicken?

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Filed under City Government, Politics, Religion

Operation Rescue Needs… Well, Rescue

operationrescuesfinancialconditionWill you be the savior for Operation Rescue? No, not that savior, silly. A financial savior is what they’re looking for, given the precipitous drop in donations, membership, and positive word of mouth since that pesky lil’ murder a few months ago. According to Troy Newman, O.R. holy-roller-in-chief and deeply unsympathetic man, the group is in serious danger of folding completely. Uh… oh no?

Newman blames the economy. But the Wichita-based organization has also taken heavy criticism after the May 31 shooting death of abortion provider George Tiller — not only from abortion-rights supporters but also from anti-abortion militants.

Newman told The Associated Press that the group has only four paid employees left, compared with nine a year ago. Donations are down more than 30 percent, and Newman says he hasn’t been paid in two months.

Another anti-abortion group, Kansans for Life, says it hasn’t seen a noticeable drop in its donations.

Hmm? You mean a comparably crazy group hasn’t seen any decline in money flowing in from the nation’s holier-than-thou set? So it must just be you guys, then. What would the world do without Operation Rescue? Well… we’d probably see a sharp decline in apocalyptic rhetoric, I guess, and maybe fewer annoying obstacles outside clinics. So yeah, we’re okay with this. Time for O.R. to be Lehman’d.

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Filed under Economics, Politics, Religion

Local Catholic Leaders Officially Abandon Last Remaining Semblance Of J.C.’s Influence

reactiontonaumannandfinnsletterWell. Evidently poverty, famine, war, and general evil-itude has been eradicated around these parts. Why else would professional instigators and barely-holy men Joseph Naumann and Robert Finn — ostensibly an archbishop and a bishop, though their suitability for those positions is under constant question — turn their full attention to the government health care debate? You know, that one that the secular United States government is having? Alas, it seems Mssrs. Naumann and Finn have seen fit to declare their full-throated opposition to said reform, based on… what, exactly?

The right of every individual to access health care does not necessarily suppose an obligation on the part of the government to provide it. Yet in our American culture, Catholic teaching about the “right” to healthcare is sometimes confused with the structures of “entitlement.” The teaching of the Universal Church has never been to suggest a government socialization of medical services. Rather, the Church has asserted the rights of every individual to have access to those things most necessary for sustaining and caring for human life, while at the same time insisting on the personal responsibility of each individual to care properly for his or her own health.

Oh, I see. So you can be pro-access when it comes to ensuring people have proper health care, but when we must establish some kind of structure to actually deliver that access, you’re conveniently devoid of any and all responsibility. Very convenient logic, sirs. Sort of like being pro-civic services but anti-tax?

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time a bastardization of religious teaching has been used to circumvent the health care debate. Nor, we suspect, will it be the last. Somewhere, Jesus is no doubt beaming with pride.

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Filed under Economics, Health, Politics, Religion

Olathe Woman Trumps Health Care Opponents With Wild Misreading Of Bible

marygoodwinssaviorYou know who hated Obamacare? Jesus. No, it’s true! The lackluster carpenter and sometime savior — curiously, also one of history’s most prominent liberals — was a committed opponent of the Big Government solution. Don’t believe us? Just ask Mary Goodwin of Olathe, the metro area’s holiest hamlet. In a letter to the Star (via the Unfettered Letters blog, which is perhaps the greatest source of comedy in KC), Mary offers both a searing indictment of government-run health care and a perplexing misinterpretation of everyone’s favorite story book. Mary plays the antepenultimate trump card (assuming the penultimate and ultimate trump cards can only come from Jesus and God, respectively — in nomine patris et filii, after all): we shouldn’t support health care because Jesus wouldn’t support it. Poor logic, thy name is Mary Goodwin.

I have found recent letters in The Star implying that God would be in favor of a government-run health care plan ridiculous. One of those letters (8/16) purported to be from a minister who had seen several people suffer because of a lack of medical insurance.

I would urge these individuals to read the Bible again. Not once did Jesus say it was the role of government to take care of the needy. He said you should do it. Expecting the government to take money from one party and give it to another is to support a violation of the Eighth Commandment, “You shall not steal.”

Next time you are concerned about someone in need, don’t call for the government to empty the pockets of others to take care of that person’s needs. Empty your own.

Where to begin? First, it’s true that Jesus never said the government should take care of the needy (render unto Caesar, etc.) — but let’s remember that J.C. was operating under a Roman pseudo-dictatorship, not a pluralistic republican government. While we’re at it, let’s recall that Jesus never addressed a great many things, abortion among them. Second, saying that public health care violates the Eighth Commandment is simply a befuddling misreading of that particular portion of the famed dectet. What the big man meant that day on Mount Sinai is that you should not actively take things from your neighbor, not that wealth cannot be redistributed in equitable means.

Further, by this reasoning, our entire tax structure represents a violation of the Eighth Commandment — aren’t my tax dollars being taken and being used to support roads in poor neighborhoods? Blasphemy! Finally, we’d gently remind Ms. Goodwin that we’re already paying for the care of those who cannot afford it, via emergency room and indigent care, which is often bizarrely overlooked by opponents of public health care. So is it an idea Jesus would support? Maybe. Maybe not. What we can be certain of is that Mary is no expert in exegesis.

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Filed under Media, Politics, Religion

Mom2Mom Examines Deep Theological Questions Through Obvious Framework Of Adult Magazines

mom2momsdeepestquestionsansweredIs there a higher power? Do humans have a larger spiritual quest on this spinning rock of ours? What lies beyond the edges of our beloved Milky Way? Tough questions all, and probably ones best left to the divinity students over at Mom2Mom, the Star‘s reliably dull and relentlessly comical motherhood blog. The current favorite topic? Theology, and how the tenets of Christianity may or may not be reflected in Heidi Montag’s decision to pose in America’s classic chronicler of female bodies and stereo equipment. And as usual, the conversation is rife with wincingly terrible prose. Take it away, “parkvillemommy”:

My favorite part is where she says that God created her body. Yes, well, the plastic surgeon provided a little help, too.

Hey-o! Watch your backs, Borscht Belt comedians! Luckily, “Neba” is here to steer the conversation back toward the biq questions:

To many, it doesn’t seem like a very “Christian thing to do” (including me), but if she says she is a Christian then I guess she is.

Wait, so… even though A contradicts B, A is still okay because… why, exactly? MORE

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Filed under Family Life, Media, Religion

Missouri Family Figures Prominently In NYT Article Illustrating Deepest Ills Of Religion

whatthemissourifamilyisfallingforAnd lo, the Lord gazed upon his flock and said “Verily I shall make thee fishers of the gullible.” That seems to be the takeaway from a pretty disturbing article in the Times today, in which — perhaps not surprisingly — the Biellier clan of Mt. Vernon (in the southwest part of the state) slanders the good names of Missourians by falling for some of the most obvious charlatanism and snake oil selling this side of a Palin rally. They traveled to Texas (of course) to hear from Kenneth and Gloria Copeland, two devoted stewards of the man upstairs who have also profited quite handsomely from the meek minds of their followers. To wit:

Private airplanes and boats. A motorcycle sent by an anonymous supporter. Vacations in Hawaii and cruises in Alaska. Designer handbags. A ring of emeralds and diamonds.

“God knows where the money is, and he knows how to get the money to you,” preached Mrs. Copeland, dressed in a crisp pants ensemble like those worn by C.E.O.’s.

Oh, how lovely. This is obviously just what Jesus had in mind when he said this. So how could anyone fall for the smoke and mirrors proffered by people who recently organized a sickening thing like this? Well, let’s hear from the proud Show Me Staters: MORE

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Filed under Crime, Religion