Category Archives: Sports

So What The Hell’s Going On In Lawrence These Days?

nowheresaguywhoknewhowtofightinlawrenceThe talk of Kansas City this week, at least between the sports fans among us, is the very odd (and perhaps totally unsurprising) contretemps between gridiron athletes and hardwood athletes. The word among the local media is that tensions between the two squads are long-running but heretofore suppressed, or at least kept out of the spotlight. However, with the e-discussions of Tyshawn “point plankn” Taylor, the whole conflict has bubbled to the surface. The cause, shockingly? Ladies. Ah, men — have we ever fought over anything else? (Religion, I suppose. And oil.) In today’s Star, the elegantly named J. Brady McCollough manages to score some interviews with anonymous former athletes, who tell JBM that things were pretty much always thus.

“It’s always been a feud between basketball and football players,” said a recently graduated former KU football player who asked to remain anonymous. “It’s been an ongoing thing.”

A recently departed former KU basketball player had the same experience.

“It’s about who’s more popular on campus with the girls and stuff like that,” said the player, who also requested anonymity. “It’s escalated really bad now, but it’s always been there.”

So what are we to make of this? KU has an ascendant football program — cupcake opponents notwithstanding — but it’s not like the basketball program is slipping. Mount Oread has always been the traditional province of Naismith’s game and its players, but with an upstart, Mangino-led football program, it’s probably only natural that a turf war would erupt. But fights in public? Players being ushered into SUVs and whisked away? Emergency meetings with Self and Mangino? Pretty ridiculous, especially under the watchful eye of the even-keeled (and Uncle Festerian) Lew Perkins.

The local media is all atwitter over the event, and is chronicling the various local opinions. Can we expect suspensions in the matter? Elite athletic schools, of which KU is indisputably one, are loath to suspend the athletes who bring in the money, but in this case the pressure may come down from the new chancellor and old, rich donors who are sick of such juvenile behavior. Stay tuned, I guess.


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Filed under Crime, Education, Sports

Kansas City: Premier Destination For Portly, Imprisoned Baseball Fans

chubbyvisitortoaroyalsgameDon’t you just hate it when you really have your heart set on catching the Red Sox/Royals series, and then you go and get busted for “interference with official acts and violation of a protective order”? Yeah, us too! I mean, here you are looking forward to seeing a mediocre baseball team play a team with the most insufferable fans in the game (“Sully! We drove wicked fah to see the Sawx in this town with bah-becue!”), and then an arrest comes your way. Sigh; life is unfair. Oh, unless you happen to be imprisoned in Keosaqua, Iowa, in which case: have fun at the game!

An Iowa man serving a 10-day jail sentence walked out of jail on Wednesday to attend a baseball game in Kansas City with his family…

Barker will attend the Red Sox game in Kansas City with his father and brother. Barker’s father, Norman, said Wednesday that the family had been planning the trip for 3 months and they haven’t been able to attend a game in 25 years.

Waggoner said Barker’s request was approved “as a special consideration for the family.”

Um. Hadn’t been able to attend a game in 25 years? Perhaps you could have done so had you avoided every Dunkin’ Donuts outlet you passed in that time, sir. And what’s with the general subversion of justice here? Wayne Knight Mr. Barker was convicted of a crime (harassing a local family by calling as many as 60 times a night) — and thus forfeited his right to attend any and all sporting events during the period of his sentence. Nah, nothing about this adds up at all. Glad you chose our city, though.

Photo via KMBC.

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Filed under Crime, Law, Royals, Sports

Tyshawn Taylor Blows Old Media’s Mind With Bizarre Facebook Rants

perhapstyshawnshouldsticktostandardinterviewsIf you’re a fan of KU basketball — and good god, you people are everywhere — then you already know that noted student-athlete Tyshawn Taylor got into a bit of a fracas yesternight in front of the Union. Alas, we suppose. The real story here, though, is Taylor’s preferred means for dealing with this situation — namely, by keeping the cyberworld updated on his opinions via grammatically and syntactically questionable Facebook updates.

“I got a dislocated finger ..from throwing a punch don’t let the news paper gas yall up aite,” Taylor wrote.

Minutes earlier, around midnight, he wrote: “real (racial slur)s do real things .. point plankn.”

His earlier posts indicate there may have been escalating tension.

“keep my name out ya’ mouth for you get smacked in it,” he wrote at 11:12 a.m. Tuesday, and 30 minutes later he posted, “never get outta character .. I’m always a G about it.”

About 4 p.m., Taylor posted, “(racial slur)s be muggin me know I’m mugging back.”

We hear that “always a G about it” was actually the rejected title for Billy Joel’s “She’s Always a Woman.” No word yet on what this will mean for Taylor’s future with the Self Crew, though you can see a suspension rounding the corner of Mass St.

Incidentally, “point plankn,” whatever the hell it means, is pretty much the new favorite phrase around the Bovine Comedy offices.


Filed under Crime, Education, Sports

‘This Is Not The Winning Team You’re Looking For.’


Here we can see (IN A COPYRIGHTED PHOTO FROM THE KANSAS CITY STAR THAT WE ARE IN NO WAY PASSING OFF AS OUR OWN SO PLEASE GIVE CREDIT TO THEM AND SEE THE FULL SET HERE — PHEW screenshot from, because they asked us to take down all the photos they took) that the tailgating party at yesterday’s Chiefs/Raiders game was crashed by representatives of the Empire. Sadly, the Chiefs had to go all Death-Star-explosion on us and lose at the last second. Any way to freeze the disappointing and angry Todd Haley in carbonite?

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Chubby Horned Demon Invades Star Home Page, Frightens Small Children


Good. Lord. Thanks for kicking off my Sunday morning with something which will haunt my thoughts for perpetuity, Star. This is even worse than the notorious Neil Diamond/Hulk incident. The really sad part? That portly gentleman could probably play for the Chiefs — or the Raiders. Should be quite a contest of mediocrity at Camarohead today.

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Ending The Week On A Heartwarming Note

On a day of distressing news about drug dealers, mandatory sentences, and the ensuing political battles therein, you might want to head into the weekend with a really, really nice story from the Star‘s Ryan Young about a football player in St. Joe. And in case the story doesn’t tug at your emotions — in which case we’d contend you have a heart of stone — then this video of the event in question certainly will. Nice to know that even in a time of rampant incivility, there can still occur an instance like this in our area. Bravo, Matt.

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Crimson On The Corner

So it’s Red Friday (insert joke about our nation’s descent towards communism here), otherwise known as “Day The Panhandling Street Corner Hobos Color Coordinate Their Outfits To Disguise Themselves As Fundraisers.”

Judging by this photo, it is also the day that the sworn nemeses of the Blue Man Group arrive in town.


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