Tag Archives: Melodrama

Treehuggers Checkmate Hunters In Bizarre, Awesome Act Of Melodrama

perhapshowjasongotthedeersheadFor some time we’ve been following the little flap over deer-eradication in Shawnee Mission Park, where the ungulates have outgrown their suburban constraints and are bothering pretty much everyone. Both sides have been a little careless with their rhetoric, with the pro-death crowd hiring a squad of weekend warrior mercenaries, and the pro-deer crowd erecting billboards to persuade passersby that Bambi should live. But that was all child’s play — because a man named Jason Miller has trumped anything and everything with one act of perplexing, amazing, gutsy defiance. He took it to a Lord of the Flies level, and now we say: game, set, match.

Yes, it’s the severed head of a deer.

Jason Miller, an animal rights activist, got the deer head from a meat processor and brought it to Shawnee Mission Park today.

He wanted to graphically demonstate what is about to happen to 75 percent of a herd of deer in Shawnee Mission Park that is estimated to be about 700.

Oh, sweet lord. Who goes to a meat processor and asks for a deer’s head? And who places said head in a basket and leaves it for officials? Insanity, thy name is Jason Miller. But it gets so much better.

Miller referred to the deer head as Victoria and said that if the “planned slaughter” goes forward, “I (Victoria) will be the future face of Shawnee Mission Park, which would in turn come to be known as Death Park.”

Um. You f’ing named it? You… you do realize it’s just a severed head, right? And not an actual living creature? We do like the part about “Death Park,” though. Kind of catchy, and it would probably clear out the jogging trails a bit. The bottom line here, though, is a) environmentalists know no dramatic bounds, and b) Jason Miller’s mind works in odd ways.

Your move, park officials.


Leave a comment

Filed under Animals, City Government, Oddities, Science, The Arts

Bambi’s Defenders Raise Bar In Shawnee Mission Park Rhetoric Fight

whatwillsoonbedyingatshawneemissionparkRemember that little flap a few months back over the potential deer slaughter in Shawnee Mission Park? Apparently the antler’d creatures are overrunning the place (even more so than groping joggers!), and so the authorities authorized a bunch of weekend warriors to come, er, take care of things. But wait! Don’t count out the nature-lovers just yet — they’ve pooled money from their Sierra Club donations and Nation subscriptions and have paid to erect a billboard condemning the inevitable killing. And they’re not being melodramatic at all, we assure you.

Opponents of the shootings have recently put up a billboard in downtown Kansas City, Mo., to protest them. The billboard reads, “Don’t let your tax dollars become blood money.”…

“What you’re about to do, gentlemen, is unholy and ungodly,” Shawnee resident Vicki Needham said at the July meeting.

Yeah, that’s not overstating the case. Not one bit. But if you fall squarely on the side of those brave men who sit in deer blinds and wait for the creatures to walk by — so sporting! — don’t fret: people on your side are here to help with totally lucid and clear statements. Or, you know, this:

“Things like bloodlust and ineffective are just not true,” Shawnee resident Michael Eagan said at a July parks board meeting.

Oh. Now we see. Sorry, armchair environmentalists. Looks like this purge will not be derailed. Time to get back to watching PBS and lauding Cindy Sheehan.

1 Comment

Filed under Animals, City Government, Crime, Real Estate, Sports