Tag Archives: Odd Ideas

Men Of UMKC Totally Standin’ Up For Women, Bro

worstfrathazingeveratumkcPerhaps you heard that yesterday was the “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” event across the country. That means, apparently, doing what you can to stop domestic violence and sexual assault and all those other awul things that degenerate males think are okay. The whole “walk a mile” thing, though? That’s kind of a metaphor, dating back to the age-old maxim. Oops: someone forgot to explain to the gentlemen of UMKC — the Harvard of Midtown — exactly how a metaphor operates. (And they’re probably pretty fuzzy on metonymy and synecdoche, too. ) The result? Perhaps the strangest fraternity initiation ever.

They say if you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, you’ll understand them better.

That’s what several hundred men did Tuesday night by walking in high-heeled shoes…

“If I can make a stand, a difference in the world, I’m down with that.”

Yeah, dude! We are also so down with that! Stopping violence against women is just off the hook — almost as awesome as The Blueprint 3.

Also included in the story was this little gem:

The event also encourages men to respect women, even if that respect is earned by wearing pumps.”

I just did it for 10 minutes. People who do it all day — that’s hard,” one walker said.

Uh… if we really cared about respecting women, wouldn’t we just stop perpetuating a system that makes them wear painfully uncomfortable, aesthetically preposterous shoes? Just sayin’.

Photo via KMBC. Please don’t sue us.

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Filed under Education, Media, Oddities, Social Life

Dr. Whitlock Uses Mopey Athlete’s Downfall To Call For Draft Reinstatement

whitlockssolutionfortroubledathletesHey, who is that over there behind the sports desk? You know, that guy behind the plant discussing his posterior preferences? Is it Dr. Phil? Close! It’s Dr. Jason Whitlock, newly minted therapist and former sports columnist for the Star. Today Dr. Whitlock would like to discuss with you a troubling plague in professional sports: the rise of the immature athlete. A legitimate concern, to be sure: as Dr. Whitlock notes, we ask these young men and women to assume the full responsibilities of adulthood at age 18 or so, then dump millions of shekels in their laps. So what’s the solution? Delays on entering professional leagues, or perhaps mandatory financial training? Nope: let’s send them all to Basra instead. Um, yeah.

God, I hate to sound old, but America needs to reinstitute the military draft. Eighteen-year-olds used to spend two to four years in a disciplined, supportive environment before being given the freedom to ruin their lives.

Great basketball players used to spend two to four years in college learning about the real world before being handed wealth and fame.

Yeah, that makes… no sense at all. And have we forgotten, sir, that what you call “a disciplined, supportive environment” often meant, uh, dodging sniper fire in the jungles of Asia? It doesn’t seem quite logical to assert that a lack of immediate maturity requires basic training at Fort Bragg. Fear not, though: Dr. Whitlock’s readers let him have it in the comments section, as Star readers are wont to do.

As a Vietnam veteran, Jason, I have long supported some notion of mandatory national service for young men and women — without deferments — but your context here is suspect and Mr Beasley in particular would be ineligible to serve on at least one ground…

Come on Whitlock, your big ol’ fat badoonka never been to some type of military training ,so STFU…

Jason, I appreciate your message, but I’m not sure how “supportive” the military is…

Where you ever in the Military Fatlock?…

By the way since you endorse compulsory military training…what service did you
join to sort your life out..you must have missed a good opportunity…

Bravo, readers. Comments are always more persuasive when you use “badoonka.”

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Filed under Jason Whitlock, Media, Sports