Tag Archives: Pointless Columns

Super Cool Columnist Jason Whitlock Maintains Relevance With Hip Lingo

jasonwhitlockissmoothwiththeladiesHey there, playa! What fresh and dope columnists are you reading these days? Fo shizzle, y’all better be readin’ Jason Whitlock! And why? Because no other mainstream media personality is keepin’ it real the way he does: by steadily deploying every youthful linguistic signifier he can think of. Things are no different in his latest Fox Sports column, in which he again discusses the Pitino controversy. We can always count on Jason for calm, measured analysis devoid of hyperbole and casual talk, right? Ha, no. Time to drop it like it’s hot, yo!

Play on, playa. Play on….

Despite Pimpino opening his press conference declaring his intentions and the audience he would attempt to sway, we missed the utter brilliance of his performance…

He knows most people believe Sypher is bat-spit crazy…

When his six-minute rant concluded, tears trickled down my cheeks, I rose from my seat and found myself clapping my hands and mouthing the words, “Play on, playa. Play on” and wanting to listen to Johnnie Taylor’s classic “Cheaper To Keep Her.”…

That’s straight pimp spit right there…

I suspect Pitino might be listening to my favorite rapper, Tech N9ne’s anthem “I’m a Playa.”

8-1-6! 8-1-6! Keep it real, J-dog! Incidentally, my buffoonish friend, “spit” does not constitute an appropriate substitute for “shit.” It mostly just sounds lame. But hey, I’m not one to criticize a playa — though Jason might want to rethink that last sentence, unless he thinks “rapper” and “song” mean the same thing.

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Filed under Entertainment, Jason Whitlock, Media, Sports