The boulevards of suburban Overland Park are abuzz this morning with news of the possible purchase of Sprint-Nextel-PCS-Global-Telephonium by DEUTSCHE TELEKOM! — because things in German must always be shouted — an action which would consolidate two losing companies under one roof. Hey, convenient!
But rumors of a deal between the two companies — the third- and fourth-largest carriers in the United States — keep popping up because Sprint and T-Mobile continue to lose money and lag far behind the larger Verizon and AT&T, said Michael Nelson, research analyst at Soleil Securities in New York.
“I think right now it’s clear that Sprint and T-Mobile are having an increasingly difficult time competing in the current environment, and there’s really no easy solution,” Nelson said. “It’s potential consolidation as a necessity.”
Ah, consolidation as necessity. Isn’t this like those sad middle-aged relationships that come about because neither party thinks he or she can do any better? So this divorcee from Gardner might just be the best option available? Sad, sad, sad. It’s of course been a long and winding road for Sprint, which acquired Nextel in an ill-advised joining of forces a few years ago. They’ve never quite been able to compete with the behemoths of Verizon or AT&T, and now it looks like another marriage is in the offing. Of course, this will again fail to answer that age-old question: why can’t I get service a mere mile from your sprawling and pretentious campus? And why do you keep hiring trenchcoat-ed men to stalk city streets?
The Bovine Comedy 